On and on I walked, unto the throes of darkness
Unknown, the evil that belies ahead
So lonely like the wilderness
But on and on, I forged ahead
And no one to comfort me in this great moment of my forsakeness
In this great moment, when heaviness becometh my head
No one around to console me, in this great moment of my nothingness
Not even my constant companion- my shadow
Or do they only stay in the meadow?
So grief became my best companion
At this moment, I felt like I could not be saved
Not even by my lucky medallion
Because in and in, the road caved
Leading me to the house of doom
As if I already have a room
I can feel the claws of evil
Clawing, clawing at my soul
With the intent to rip it apart
I can feel the mauls of evil
Mauling, mauling at my soul
With the intent to rip it apart
I can still hear the voice of the preacher
Still staying, "vanity, all is vanity"
And I wonder why the preacher
Chose to come at this moment of insanity
Does it mean I still have a chance?
Does it mean this is all a trance?
Then I cried, "mercy"!
I looked up at the black sky and cried, "mercy"!
For now, I' ve seen and known, nevertheless
The colour of the shadow of darkness
AUTHOR: STANLEY EJIOGU
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Without wasting time, this poem 'The Colour of the Shadow of Darkness' depicts a state of downfall after being up there. it presents the story of a young man who had being through life having all that he needed -all the comfort, all the money, all the power, but then suddenly, like the bursting of an overblown tube, all he had, and the comfort,disappeared. Everthing! And during his life of affluence, he never cared for anyone except himself and power. Thank God the poem ended with a reassuring confession, that whatever a man thinks he is, there is someone bigger than him, whom he must ask 'mercy' from.
ReplyDeleteWell, because of little time on my side, Stanley, I can't really present a full literary critique of your piece here. But still a few things to correct in this piece: 'Uknown' instead of 'Unkown' in line 2. Revise line 6 'In this great moment, when heaviness becometh my head', it is too straight, and naked. Clothe it a litter further with literary figures. I don't have time, would have suggest one for you. Again, I think if you remove the commas in line 3 and 10, the effect of that line will come out, the pause there breaks the flow.
I must go now. Got work to do.
Keep it up.
Sorry, I just noticed spelling errors in my comments. Please ignore, I had little time. focus on the idea in the comment, ignore the errors in spellings and where I was supposed to write 'suggested', I wrote 'suggest'. Pls, ignore. Take care.
ReplyDeleteFord, if you are not fully into Literature, then u are missing a lot. Your review was outstanding. About the 'uknown' instead of unknown' that was a typing error. Keep in touch cuz I' ll post more of my works. Be free to share them with friends. I wrote another poem, 'WHICH WAY NIGERIA'? If you know a way I can make money with poem, let me know. I love ur SONG OF SARO WIWA. It's so patriotic. This is my no, +2348066387463
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